One of my intentions for this year was facing my fears and going towards that which is uncomfortable. And since I have noticed that I have this big fear of being judged, about what others might think of me, I thought this was a great way to make myself super uncomfortable. So here I am feeling the fear but doing it anyway – Yay…
But ok so why the hell start a blog about something so intimate as sharing private stuff around my relationship with my husband then? Well, because of love. Naaaaw…yeah but that’s it. Because of love for my husband, love for myself and love for our beautiful children. Because of love in general.
I know that the challenges our relationship is facing are fantastic opportunities for healing and connection. For growth. And it also challenges us to confront whatever stands in the way of that growth.
And I think that writing about this journey will keep me connected to my commitment to why I am on this journey with my husband; to explore love and intimacy and to role model healthy relating to our children.
I also think starting a blog about all his will help me process this experience as writing down my feelings and thoughts will encourage me to stop and feel and think deeper and more intentionally. It will be my journal where I can express and articulate what I experience and for some reason I think that also sharing about it might speed up the process in some way.
It is also simply an impuls. An impulse I chose to follow. Because I’m curious about this idea. How it might affect me and my husband and our relationship. I have no idea how to do this or what might come out of it so it’s also an exercise in letting go of control and just letting stuff unfold as I go.
So I think that writing for this blog will be healing for our relationship not only since we’re actively working on our relationship but because also making it available online will bring up even more fears and darkness that we will have the opportunity to face.